Simon Maage, CC0, via Unsplash Trying to squeeze the brain for humorous ideas can be exhausting. It’s the reason for the existence of this collection of funny Instagram captions! Its purpose is to provide you quick-witted caption ideas to help you boost your digital sass. Funny lady, it’s time to take center-stage and show the world how amusing you are and how great you are at delivering laughs.
Hilarious Instagram Captions for Sassy Girls
Divas don’t do drama. We do business. I’m a life-sized doll. And no, you can’t play with me. If I was a vegetable, I’d be a cabbitch. I’m the snack that talks back. Never treat a lady like a dog, else she pisses on you. Not only am I a bad-ass, I also have a good ass. Skinny legends don’t share. I’m the hot tea for today. Guess who’s going to hell on a full scholarship grant. Make your ass match your sass. Do squats. Tight jeans, loose morals. Dress like you’re already famous! What a hot mess I am! I throw sass around like confetti. Research suggests that women with a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. Wake up, workout, look hot. Posting this selfie to keep you updated that I’m still very cute. Kinda pissed about not being a mermaid. I love mirrors because they show me what winners look like. Stop petting my peeves! I’m not like other girls. I’m Satan. You can only grab my booty if you can handle my moody. Behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes. The only thing resting here is my bitch face. Never call your selfie ugly. Call it wacky. The only time I chase guys is when they try to steal my food. Keep calm and call your stylist. So you like bad girls? I’m actually bad at everything. What’s your opinion regarding this picturesque sight? Someday, I’m going to eye-roll myself into another universe. Bitches be tripping. Okay, maybe I pushed one. Picky with men as I am picky with my selfies. Am I a sweet angel or a naughty devil? You decide. Suns out, buns out. When life imitates art. On a scale of 1-10, how ducky is my duck-face selfie? Life is short to those with no makeup. Sometimes, I just want to high five people in the face. Here’s your daily dose of vitamin me. Instead of being moody, why not shake your booty? My face hurts because I can’t stop smiling. Not sure if this is my “really sweet” mood or my “don’t mess with me” vibe. Too glam to give a damn. The seal placed on my mood swing is weakening. Run before it’s too late! “Perfect” and “meeeeee” both have 7 letters. I don’t think this is a coincidence.
The Most Laugh-Worthy Girly Taglines
Sarcasm is how I roll. God bless this hot mess! Life is always better in pajamas. There’s a million fish in the ocean. But I’m a mermaid. ‘Tis a girl thing. When the sun goes down, I glow up. I must ravage you with warm hugs and passionate kisses. Netflix just recommended that I watch what I eat. Messy bun and getting stuff done. Unapologetically girly. When life gives you lemons, use them to make your skin glow. You know what runs through my veins? Glitter and fairy dust. They told me I could be anything. So, I became sexy. Idk, I’d wife me. Mood swings are such a mood. People call me crazy sometimes. The unicorn in my kitchen tells me otherwise though. Boys remind me of purses. They’re cute, full of crap, and highly replaceable. Single but ignoring people like I’m taken. Life ain’t perfect. But my hair is! Cold as ice, but in the right hands, I melt. Don’t let this beauty blind your eyes. My outfit is inspired by the fact that I woke up 30 minutes late this morning. Not an angel, but I got a halo. Mermaids don’t do homework. I dress up to check myself out at shop windows. A bit of tummy or ass ain’t gonna hurt nobody. Flashing my eyes like highway signs. Cinderella never asked for a prince. Good girls are bad girls. I don’t do petty, I do pretty. Happiness is my new lipstick. You know why I love eating cake? It gives me more weight, thus making it trickier for me to be kidnapped. My hairstyle is called—“I Tried.” I’m nicer when I like my outfit. She is mad. But she is me. My name ain’t Mary, but I’m Poppin. I’m always dressing fresher than a mannequin. Walking at the makeup aisle is my favorite exercise. If you think I take selfies all the time, I don’t. I just take them every day. Being a queen was never my choice. It’s just that the crown fits me so well. Sugar and spice, but mostly sugar. Superwoman, Batgirl, and Wonder Woman are all single. I must be a superhero as well! Me? Out of my mind? Wait for me to get down this unicorn before I slap you. When life gives you curves, flaunt them! When a woman is late, do not ask her. The foundation had to dry first.
Fun Captions Girls Can Use on Instagram
Normally and falsely seasoned. My biggest problem? I notice everything. After God created the first man, he had a better idea. When reality calls, don’t answer. I’ve unfollowed a diet because it didn’t follow me back. I can’t imagine heaven being more beautiful than this. If I ran like my mouth, I’d be in good shape. Messy hair, don’t care. Confidence level: Selfie with no filter. Always dress like you are going to see your arch-nemesis. Mirrors don’t lie. That’s why I’m glad that they don’t laugh either. When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t planning on being gorgeous. I guess sh*t just happens. If you cannot handle the thick thighs, hit the gym. I am not a shopaholic, I just help the economy. Why am I wearing black today? Well, I’m mourning the death of my motivation. It’s always better to arrive late than to arrive ugly. I love chocolate because it never judges me. Play with my hair, not me feelings. Me and all my multiple personalities getting well tonight. Whoops, I can’t be seen for free. Send the budget. Why get thinner when you can get more dinner. Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy amazing makeup. Aha, I bet you like what you see! Love is in the air? I say rid the world of this abominable air pollution. My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and warm-up pants. When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance. Am I not beautiful enough? Get your heart checked! Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. I’m a beautiful kind of madness. Sleep. Eat. Makeup. Repeat. Who’s that cute person? Oh, I clicked on my profile again. I like my eyebrows because I can shape them without needing to exercise. You wanna know my secret talent? I get tired without even doing anything. Simple like quantum physics. There are 30 uglier versions of this selfie in my camera roll. Cute but psycho. Mastering the art of awkward posing. So, who ate my food? Recovering selfie addict. I feel like I’m already tired tomorrow. Born to stand out with selfies. They say there’s no excuse for laziness. Watch me discover one! Roses are red, I’m going to bed. Skin on glow, money please grow. People say I act like I don’t care. Well, I say none of it is an act.
